Let's Step Up

Our Oral Tradition teaches us that a boy at the age of thirteen becomes a Bar Mitzvah and a girl at the age of twelve becomes a Bat Mitzvah. The literal translation of Bar and Bat Mitzvah is, son/daughter of the Mitzvos.

Rabbi Yonason Twersky o.b.m. points out that the Talmud refers to one who is steeped in sin, as a Baal Avrairah – literally the husband of sin, and the Talmud refers to one who is obligated to fulfill Mitzvos as a Bar/Bat Mitzvah – the son/daughter of Mitzvos. “Why,” asks Rabbi Twersky, “Are sinners considered married to the sin and regarding the fulfillment of Mitzvos we are considered sons/daughters of the Mitzvos?

He explains as follows: When a person slips and transgresses, he is considered married to the sin, yet he has the ability to repent and separate himself from the sin, similar to a relationship between husband and wife where a divorce can dissolve their union.

However, our bond to the Mitzvos is perpetual and we can never separate ourselves from their obligation, therefore our relationship is similar to that of a son or daughter whose relationship with their parents can never be severed.

A question may be asked, if this is the case, why does the Talmud call someone who repents from their sins a Baal Teshuva – literally one married to repentance, which is a relationship that can be severed? Why does he not attain the relationship of a son or daughter which remains forever?

The answers is that once a mortal human being has tasted sin, even if he has gone through the process of repentance, he must constantly be on guard lest he reverts back to his wanton ways and habits and thereby losing his penitent status. To reinforce this idea, one who repents is called a Baal Teshuvah, one married to repentance and not a Bar Teshuva which connotes a everlasting bond.

Just as a strong and solid marriage requires attention to maintain and improve the relationship, so does Teshuva require a steady alertness and watchfulness in order to sustain it.

It is no coincidence that the Mitzvah of repentance is recorded in this week’s portion, a portion that is always read during this reflective time of the year.

Generally speaking New Year resolutions lack endurance and staying power. For the most part one tries to bite off too much at one time and it becomes too overwhelming to endure.

The Torah states, “This Mitzvah (of repentance) is close to you; it is in your mouth, and your heart, to do it.” The Chofetz Chaim explains that the verse actually directs us to undertake a commitment at a slow and gradual pace. The verse begins with, ‘It is in your mouth.” This directs us to first attempt to watch over that which is connected with our speech, such as striving to abstain from speaking derogatorily of others, not causing others embarrassment, refraining from falsehood and distancing ourselves from feuds and quarrels.

The second step “In your heart,” refers to the Mitzvos connected to the intent of one’s heart, such as prayer and strengthening one’s belief.

Finally, “To do it,” refers to the Mitzvos that are connected with our physical action and deed.

A healthy approach to our resolutions is to set our goal at a realistic foothold; upon reaching that point, the heightened level of spirituality and sense of accomplishment and achievement will enable us to aspire to extend our spiritual horizon one notch higher and with time we can incrementally acquire awesome levels which we thought we were not capable of achieving.
 
Wishing you a most uplifting, peaceful
and inspirational Shabbos!
Rabbi Dovid Saks